Saturday, March 14, 2009

That was an accident.

Sorry about that blanky mcmystery post, guys. I wrote something, then deleted it because it was stupid, but accidentally hit 'publish'; then my computer was feeling ornery and every time I tried to go back and delete the post itself, the internetz crashed on me!

Goddamned bastards!

So then I said fuck it, I have better things to do. Like watch youtube videos of bedbugs.

Oh, but more on that later.

Anyway, I assure you that my strange black hole of a post was not a philosphical experiment in headfuckery, though I am thrilled that you guys think I have enough flickering brain cells left to pull that off. Ah, if only I could give you all a soft, patronizing pat on the head for that one. Or a loving tap on the heinie. To show my great and abiding appreciation.

Anyway, I've just been busy busy busy. I cannot tell you how much time I have spent on Google this week researching bedbugs, convinced that I must have a little army of them burrowed in my mattress or light switch (they can hide in there!), or pillows or something. This research takes up so much of my time, I hardly have the energy for anything else.

I have been waking up for the last week with angry clusters of welty, itching bites all over my hips, butt and back. I don't know what the hell is going on. I changed my facebook status last week to say something like, "I hope it's just a spider bite!" and about 12 of my helpful friends commented that spider bite my ass, it sure as heck sounded like bedbugs.

Yet, a thorough search of my bed, floor, walls, bookshelves, drawers, pillows and couch revealed nothing. No indication of anything amiss. Not even bedbug larvae or a dead stray guy or anything. I did however find an overdue library book. That was nice.

So the itching continues. It's killing me. Tea Tree Oil and Caladryl are not alleviating my discomfort, but are staining my clothes and making me smell like the Whole Foods.

On the upside, the kid seems unaffected. So, maybe it's hives? eczema? Or shit, maybe it's that flesh-eating bacteria. That would be just my luck. Now that I think about it, that's probably it.


Krissyface said...

Jack, I totally deleted your comment.

Goddamnmothafuckin blogger.

nitewalk6 said...

Have you changed soaps or laundry supply's lately? Any new meds? I developed something wierd like that couple of years ago and my Doc sent me to a dermatoligist who couldn't figure it out. Makes you question the "practice" of medicine. I saw a surgeon for something unrelated who gave me a 10 day scrip of high dose Cipro and magically it all disappeared. Hope you figure it out before it drives you mad (or is that MORE mad?) Hee hee

xl said...

Hey, no playing favorites with Jack. Delete my comment, too!

Anonymous said...

Could it just be fleas or something that you wouldn't be able to find?

rkintn said...

Well, sounds like you should maybe take a trip to your dr. My guess is that it could be scabies. Which, according to the pediatrician, can be picked up nearly anywhere. The dr. can prescribe a cream to use to kill them and you will have to thoroughly clean your house, especially your bedding and stuff. Ask me how I know all this LOL The thing is, they won't go away without treatment. Good luck!

I'm Scooter, but I might be a troll. said...

Wow. Bedbugs and scabies. Bedbugs that carry scabies?

Scabies and bedbugs working together, the scabies acting as scouts?

Yeah... I really should not dwell on these things. On the upside, lots of famous people had scabies. Dante, the author of the divine comedy, comes directly to mind.

Any way, I hope you find out what it is soon. Good luck, Kris.

Vegas Linda Lou said...

Bedbugs that might be scabies... I would be in tears. Find a good dermatologist. A cute one. Then you'll be more motivated to go. Mine is adorable; at the first sight of a blemish, I'm there.

Sproactually said...

Other than a new "fresh smelling" detergent, how about stress? Did you get New sheets?


kay zee said...

I'm a retard who posted my comment on the ghost blog, instead of this one by accident :(

Krissyface said...

It's scabies. Grossness of grossnesses.

I am pretty sure I caught it from my aunt, who had it last month. She got it from a hotel bed in Florida.

Ick, ick, ick.

At least it isn't bedbugs. I don't have to exterminate my apt., only my body.


rkintn said...

Do I get some kinda prize for the internetz bloggy diagnosis? LOL Seriously, it sucks but at least they can be gotten rid of!

{{{{HUGS}}}} to you scabies and all!