well, this is my last day in New York. I just woke up from the most bizarre dream. No, my dreams are getting more and more fucked up as I approach the big move. This one had me staying in a hotel in Thailand (?) and James Earl Jones and Dick Cheney were both staying there too. There was a community bathroom and I saw both of them naked getting out of the shower. And they both had pierced scrotums. JEJ had dangling earrings of Ganesh hanging from his balls.
The other night, I was boarding the airplane to Louisiana, but the door was really tiny and my ass couldn't fit through and I got stuck. I felt really claustrophobic and freaked out, then woke up. Also, I dreamed I was at a party with my boyfriend and we got in a fight and I slapped him across the face. Then ran away but got chased down the hall by a patron of the party (an older lady) who yanked my pants down and sharply spanked my on the ass. I assume these are anxiety dreams. I mean, this is a bit of a life-altering plunge I'm about to take, yes? I mean, who am I if I'm not the saucy NYC girl blogger with the sassy five year old? It will take me a little bit of time to figure out where I fit down south, but I'm confident I will.
Those dreams, though. I am surprised I'm not dreaming about how the fuck I'm gonna travel across the country later today with a small child and two freaked out cats.
Hi, y'all. As most of you know, I'm relocating from NYC to the deep south, and this whole tearing-up-of-the-urban-roots is taking place in about a week. A week!
I have been so busy wrapping up my freelance job, packing up my crap (sweaters and snow boots going in storage at mom's, kick ass!) and drinking heavily that I have hardly had a minute to stop and think about what I'm really doing.
I will probably start a new blog once I'm settled with lots of funny (sad? pointless? retarded?) anecdotes about what it's like being a transplanted NY girl living in the wilds of southern Louisiana.
What should I call it? I need help, you guys. Give me some ideas for titles.
Anyway, as I was waiting in line at Starbucks this morning, and a girl with a headset walked up and down the line of itchy, undercaffeinated city folk taking drink orders, I thought, goddamn, I am so not gonna miss this. Really, I'm not. I have told my boyfriend repeatedly that the drive-thru Starbucks alone is worth the move to Baton Rouge, and I meant it.
I will miss a lot of things about my beloved city, though. I won't lie. I just can't think of them right now. Let me get through this Venti iced coffee and I'll blog more about that later.
So...the adventure continues...stay with me, folks. This is just the beginning...