Thursday, August 13, 2009

Here we go

well, this is my last day in New York. I just woke up from the most bizarre dream. No, my dreams are getting more and more fucked up as I approach the big move. This one had me staying in a hotel in Thailand (?) and James Earl Jones and Dick Cheney were both staying there too. There was a community bathroom and I saw both of them naked getting out of the shower. And they both had pierced scrotums. JEJ had dangling earrings of Ganesh hanging from his balls.

The other night, I was boarding the airplane to Louisiana, but the door was really tiny and my ass couldn't fit through and I got stuck. I felt really claustrophobic and freaked out, then woke up. Also, I dreamed I was at a party with my boyfriend and we got in a fight and I slapped him across the face. Then ran away but got chased down the hall by a patron of the party (an older lady) who yanked my pants down and sharply spanked my on the ass. I assume these are anxiety dreams. I mean, this is a bit of a life-altering plunge I'm about to take, yes? I mean, who am I if I'm not the saucy NYC girl blogger with the sassy five year old? It will take me a little bit of time to figure out where I fit down south, but I'm confident I will.

Those dreams, though. I am surprised I'm not dreaming about how the fuck I'm gonna travel across the country later today with a small child and two freaked out cats.

That one I'm really anxious about.

See you on the other side, m'lovlies! Mwah!!!!!

12 comments:

xl said...

Have fun. Oh, make sure the kitties have plenty of water for the trip.

Jack said...

Good luck

jeremy said...

james earl jones and dick cheney were showering together?!?!

Wow, that was awkward said...

A lot of anxiety dreams are getting lost on the way to a meeting, missing the final exam in school or not being able to do some easy physical activitiy. Your anxiety dreams rock!!

Good luck on the move!

Vegas Linda Lou said...

First of all, those are called nightmares. Second, holy shit I can't believe you're really moving. Are you like me and just do crazy shit because you know it will give you good material?

Warped Mind of Ron said...

Hope the trip is going smoothly and I'm sure you will find your place down south fairly quickly.

Prunella Jones said...

You know, it really wouldn't surprise me to find out that Dick Cheney had a pierced scrotum.

Good luck!

I'm Scooter, but I might be a troll. said...

At least James didn't slather himself with avocado soap.

Damn. Now I want guacamole.

Kimber said...

Best dream EVER. I couldn't stop laughing long enough to read it to my mom.
I'm excited for you!!

Sproactually said...

I saw JEJ in Dills best in Pawling one day, fully clothed, and he's not very tall.

Astoria will never be quite the same again.

Krissyface said...

thanx for the good wishes, guys! We are settled in and so far none of the cats have imploded or killed each other, though Sea Monkey scratched Jeremy's dog's eye. I think he was already blind but if not, he is now. Other than that, no major traumas. I'm probably gonna start a new blog called Sex and the Humidity (thanx for the title!) and move ass over there at some point. First I need to get my fucking couch and bookshelves delivered.
Mwah...

onebadmamajama said...

I'm glad you guys made it and I can't wait to read your take on the South LOL