For those of you who have been reading this blog for a while, (and I apologize to you folks, for so many reasons...but really, what the hell is wrong with you people anyway?!) you might recall me blogging about my weird-ass dreams. Recently I wrote a whole wastebasketful of nonsense about a recurring nighmare in which I have the painful urge to the pee and can only find filthy, feces-encrusted public toilets available for my use. Oh, and I'm also usually barefoot.
Last night's dream, though...I don't know WHERE that came from. I did drink a stoopid amount of pink champagne at a friend's birthday party and then go home and stuff microwave popcorn in my face while watching repeats of Grey's Anatomy, but I am not sure why I dreamed that Lily and I went on a vacation and had to share our hotel bed with two full-grown female lions.
The lions were tame(ish) and liked to cuddle, but shit, they were still fucking gigantic bloodthirsty jungle cats with claws specifically designed to tear flesh away from bone. And this thought plagued me as I crawled into bed with my child. Maybe it's all the Christian the Lion stuff I am seeing on the internet. I think they just wrote a book about that guy. Anyway.
So, it gets weirder. I'd also forgotten to pack any clothes for the trip, but my aunt was kind enough to supply me with an adult-sized Mickey Mouse bathing suit. But stuck inside the crotch was a used menstrual pad, filled with blood, and I couldn't seem to remove it.
The Blizzard of '17
3 days ago