Friday, July 24, 2009

Attachment Parenting, my ass.

I'm all hopped up on Dunkin', folks...what is it about humidity and the reek of steaming asphalt that makes me crave giant doses of iced french vanilla with half and half and two Splendas? And of course I get an immediate brain freeze/artificial-sweetener-tumor-induced headache, but it's so, so worth it.

So Lil and I had her yearly dental check up this morning, and I sat there slack jawed and drooling with shock while the sweet, gentle-voiced dentist went over her x-rays and told me basically that my kid's teeth are rotting out of her head.

She's five.

And we're basically vegetarian. And I keep sugar to a real minimum. Yeah, she likes gum, but we both chew orbit pink, which, though packed with ingredients I can't pronounce that produce golf ball-sized nodules in lab rats, doesn't contain any actual sugar.

And I'm good about dental hygiene. I am. I make sure Lily brushes her teeth with the goddamned American-Dental-Association-recommended motorized toothbrush in the shape of a bloated Cinderella at least two times a day (ok, at least once, but we really try for two).

So, what the hell's going on here?

So I gave it some thought, and I think I figured out the likely culprit: breastfeeding.

Sonofabitch. I'd heard stories about the sugar in breast milk affecting baby teeth if little'uns were permitted to nurse on-demand all night long for long stretches. And I spent two straight years in a state of of sleep-deprived, borderline psychosis because my kid loved to nurse, and I wanted a happy and healthy kid who was securely attached to her mama. I went to La Leche League meetings and am a huge proponent of breastmilk being the healthiest way to nourish babies and toddlers. I even went to the nurse-in they had in front of the ABC building a few years ago, when that C-U-Next-Tuesday Elizabich Hasselblech said she wasn't going to nurse her baby and Barbara Walters nodded, saying, "I get so uncomfowtable when I see a mothew nuwsing in pubwic!"
I sat on the sidewalk in midtown, amidst all my crunchy momrades (I just made that up! Get it?) and yanked my feedbags out of my dress to make a stand that nourishing a hungry baby in public is not offensive or disgusting!!!

And I am in cavity city.

I wouldn't have traded Lily's upbringing for anything, and I definitely agree with a lot of the principles of attachment parenting. Lily rode all over NYC in a sling and/or backpack from the time she was born, slept next to me, was permitted unrestricted access to my all-night titty bar for years. Her babyhood was happy and the connection we share is probably very much due to the bonding we did during her infancy.

But damn. Is Dr. Sears gonna pay my dental bill?

I think not.


xl said...

That's only for the baby teeth, right? Soon she will begin getting her adult teeth which should be OK, right? I am hoping so.

Krissyface said...

the dentist said the baby teeth actually are important, that if problems aren't treated with them, they can affect the new teeth.


Maybe she was a lying whore though. I'm going with that.

onebadmamajama said...

I would suggest getting a second opinion. I've been told one horrible thing by one dentist only to get a second opinion and find out it wasn't as horrible OR as expensive as the first dentist said. True story, same bad dentist scared the hell out of my daughter about her wisdom teeth only to find out later he was wrong.

Definitely get a second opinion. Also, sometimes folks loose the genetic roll of the dice and end up with bad teeth. It is by no means a reflection on your parenting skills:) Although, as a mom, I know how you feel. We make ourselves THINK and FEEL that every little bad thing related to our kids is our fault. It's not. Hang in there!:)

BeautifulWreck said...

I have not had this problem with my nursed kids and I know you are going to die when I tell you this, I let the two youngest go to bed with part water - part juice sippy cups. Nope, no cavities. So sucking the teet, to sippy cup badness, not at all. I think part of it has to do with genetics and all but one dentist has told me that. Blame it on the father and not the boob milk.

I also recommend a second opinion.

Warped Mind of Ron said...

I simply refuse to believe that boobs and nipples can be bad. It has to be genetics or the dentist is wrong. Boobs are good Mmmmmkay.

nitewalk6 said...

I think genes are more a factor than nursing. Blame it all on her sperm donor.

Vegas Linda Lou said...

I agree with those who advised you to get a second opinion, and a third and fourth if need be, and then go with the opinion you like. Dentistry is so subjective; they can't even agree amongst themselves, for Christsake. Whatever you do, don't subject that poor kid to tons of dental work on her baby teeth. I swear, some dentists look at their patients' mouths as nothing but a way to finance a new boat. As a whole, I don't trust those fuckers.

Prunella Jones said...

I thought all the fluoride in the water was supposed to protect the kids teeth nowadays? They must be lying about that and it's really being used for mind control like the conspiracy theory websites say. Bastards! You should sue the city.

Note to self: Start filtering water through tin foil just in case.

SoundHunter said...

Dude, it's about genetics, and also, the introduction of bateria into their mouths. Ya know how us moms sometimes like to smooth the little spoons of food we feed wee babies with our own mouths first? Most moms do this, but turns out we're giving them our dental bateria, that once it's in their systems, NEVER goes away. Google "dental bateria infants" and you'll read this. And then there's genetics, huge part of propensity for cavities. You, and your boobies didn't do this to her. Other than the mouthing their baby food thing, but all moms do that, it's like some sorta weird instinct.