Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Fever Dreams

I woke this morning at 5:30 am from a disturbing dream in which I dropped Lily off unattended at the movies to see "Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure" (why? All this George Carlin talk, maybe?) so that I could go and have sex with an older man who had a penis that looked like a Starbucks' straw. This illicit act took place in my childhood home, on the floor of my parents' living room.

I peeled out of the dream with the intensity of a runaway racecar, sat upright in bed, and fought the unyielding urge to scream and claw at my face.

I knew I should have turned on the air conditioner before I fell asleep.

16 comments:

Sproactually said...

Thats why my bedroom was in the basement of my parents home.

Oh this is going to be a long day of comments....

Scooter said...

There is just so much to say, I don't know where to start. Um... perhaps you should drink less Starbuck's, eh?

Pronto said...

ummmmmmmmmm

speechless.

kay zee said...

I have crazy dreams when its too hot, too!

Krissyface said...

Steve, the basement of my parents' home was all unfinished and silence-of-the-lambsish.

Scoot, less starbucks, yes. Probably.

Pronto, you? When has that ever happened? Unacceptable.

KZ, tonight, air conditioner. No doubt.

Kimber said...

Is it wrong that I laughed out loud when I read that?

Prunella Jones said...

Freud would probably interpret that dream as oral fixation and father issues, but then Freud was was a cokehead.

I still like his books though.

Prunella Jones said...

Trying to sleep without the AC is awful, isn't it?

Krissyface said...

Kim, uh...no. If you didn't, I'd have been pissed. Just kidding there.

Pru, I think it was a straight-up mommy guilt dream.
You read Freud? Cool.

Warped Mind of Ron said...

Dropping her off at the movies seems a bit reckless you should have just locked her in the closet and then gone to go have sex.

Jack said...

First, why is Bill & Ted's such a shock? It's a good movie!!

Second, he had a dark green, translucent penis? 'Cause that's kinda cool. Except for the lack of girth. And the fact that, with no head, it would kinda cut into you, then get stuck. Then he'd have to get a hole drilled into it so that you could dismount.

Third, sweetie, you deserve to have your way with Mr. Caramel Moch-Cock ON the bed. Don't let your subconscious tell you otherwise.

Chele said...

I wish you could see my expression on my face..I have no words. wow what a dream

Diva said...

Hmmmm. I have dreams about wicked sex with my ex sometimes...

but this is way different. Get a dream book!

flounder said...

Were strange things afoot at the Circle K?

Krissyface said...

Ron, if she'd gone in the closet, I would have been able to hear her, and then that just makes the sex all weird.

Jack, you are giving me some good ideas about the use of Starbucks straws...

Chele, I can imagine it though. I aim to please. And by please I mean, well, shock.

Diva, yes. Very different.

Flounder, so strange. You've no idea how strange.

Mister Underhill said...

You said you'd never post about our rendevouz! Damn you, krissyface!