Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Grandma was a black widow

Do you think this woman looks evil?

I mean, she kind of reminds me of the nasty cafeteria nun in high school who used to yell at us while brandishing a giant metal spoon, but I'd be hard pressed to believe she was responsible (allegedly) for MURDERING FOUR OF HER FIVE HUSBANDS!!!

And maybe her son, too.

And she was trying to take out a life insurance policy on her grandson.

No shit.

Her name is Betty Neumar, and it seems all of her husbands have died either by getting shot in the head, 'falling off' piers, or getting sepsis. Hmmm. Something smells fishy in North Carolina. And I don't mean all the bikini bottoms on the beaches of the Outer Banks either.

I mean, greed does some weird ass things to people. If I got away with murdering one husband and got a windfall of a payday from the insurance company, I probably would be inclined to leave well enough alone.


But some people just get a taste of blood and cannot stop themselves.

Sounds like you got some 'splaining to do, Betty.


Prunella Jones said...

Whoa, I bet she had a razor blade hidden in that bouffant when that picture was taken.

Anonymous said...

I see how she finds so many willing men.

Alice said...

Of course she looks evil. You can tell by her hair. That's where the evil resides.

Krissyface said...

Pru, I'm thinking handgun. So easy to pull out and cause an accidental 'suicide' in several husbands...

Jack, she a hottie. Totally.

Alice, I thought evil resided in the eyebrows. Mine does, anyway. But whatevs.

Warped Mind of Ron said...

Shot in the head? Fell of a pier? I thought the only acceptable way for a woman to kill her husband was for her to give him a heart attack during sex? I mean it's the only polite way to kill someone after all.

Kimber said...

My moms only tattoo is a black widow spider on her shoulder. She feels that she's offed 3 of her husbands by wishing them dead. My father is the only survivor. Don't F with my mom.

Pronto said...

oh betty, betty, betty.

personally, i agree with alice - hair is the root of all evil.

Scooter said...

Kim's mom has super powerful juju, yo.

Anonymous said...

I'm just wondering when they'll make a movie out of her! And nope, she does not look like a murdering loon. You just never can tell, eh?

Big Momma Pimpalishisness said...

Well now that you mention it, she does have a kind of evil twinkle in her eye. But who the hell is dumb enough to marry a woman who's last 5 husbands have died? That's pretty suspicious.

Krissyface said...

Ron, also, nag him to death. That's pretty polite. Well, moreso than shooting him in the face, I'd say.

Kim, I totally wanna meet your mom.

Pronto, my hair is purely good and sweet and smells like angel food cake. But that's just me.

Scoot, sounds hardcore.

Kate, now that's one I'd pay to see. Well, maybe.

Momma, Right? well, I guess she just had a magical vagina or something.

catscratch said...


I mean. Dayum. It's not like she's some young thang either... How in the world she's managing to snare or charm multiple unsuspecting Grampa type.

Maybe she's a wildcat in the sack?

catscratch said...

People do strange things for wicked sexual favors, ya know?

Anonymous said...

You make me want to be a nice person who responds to people's comments.