Thursday, October 9, 2008

It was never easy for me. I was born a poor black child. I remember the days, sittin' on the porch with my family...

Actually, that's a big, fat lie. I was born a cute white girl in upper middle-class suburbia whose only inherent detriment was that I had brown hair in a community of mostly aryan-looking peoples.

However, after growing up and overindulging in my creative-leanings (by studying art and literature in college and receiving a degree with which I could barely wipe my ass), marrying and divorcing my bohemian Knight in shining Salvation Army Pants, and birthing my little miracle girl, I pretty much forgot what it was like to live in a paid-for house and not wonder how the electric bill was going to get paid each month.

I've been living below the poverty line for so long that all this world economic crisis stuff really doesn't affect me all that much. Still, I can always find something to complain about. In fact, I was just fretting the other day with my therapist. She did help me put things in perspective, though.

The conversation went something like this:

Me (flopping on leather couch, touching hand to head in dramatic Scarlett O'Hara fashion): "So, I am stressed about the state of the economy."

Judith (nodding, looking skeptically at me over half-moon Smart Lady Glasses):
"Ah. You lost money in your 401K?"

Me: "I... don't have a 401K."

Judith: "Mmmm. Your stock portfolio, then. How's that looking? Pretty bad, huh?"

Me: "Yeah. I don't have any stocks though."

Judith (smiling bemusedly): "Planning to retire any time soon?"

Me: "No. Okay, OK, I get it. It could always be worse".

Judith: "It could always be worse."

And it's true. I love my therapist. She gently reminds me on a regular basis that no matter how much my drama-queen brain tries to convince me of my own suffering, there are always people out there in more pain than me. And that's wicked comforting. I know I shouldn't say that, but it is.

Seriously, though. It's all about perspective.

Being poor helps me recognize what is really important, because really, I have no other choice. When you don't have money for stuff, you don't miss it that much because you forget what it was like to even have it in the first place. You following me?

Plus, if I wasn't poor, I could never even afford to go to therapy that I can get for free because of my kick-ass poor people health insurance. So, who am I to complain, really?

So, I don't know about you people, but I think I'm gonna stop my bitching and put my efforts into some other cause. Like figuring out how to rob the ATM down the street.
See you guys later.

18 comments:

Sproactually said...

Your not getting enough ketchup in your diet.

You did not tell me (well, you don't actually "tell" me anything) that you have a plumber in the family, this could be good contact for when IBM cans my ass.

Krissyface said...

Steve, I thought I told you that.
The husband's family is notorious throughout the HV. And I do mean no-no-notorious.

Also, I don't need to tell you anything, because I tell EVERYONE EVERYTHING via this blog. I mean, really, is there anything I don't tell you people?

How was oktoberfest?

Sproactually said...

Oktoberfest was great, it was a awesome day, i put a whole bunch of pictures on face book.

And no, I did'nt that you had nooootorious family in the valley. I saw that ad in the email you sent in your portfolio.

And how are they no-no-notorious??

Scooter said...

I really ought to ask for your hand in friendship on Facebook, Kris... but I dunno... I try to only add folks I have actually met.

Uh... I am not trying to be snobbish. I'm just... weird.

Krissyface said...

Steve, I'm just kidding. I just mean there are a lot of us.
I'm the only one who's notorious.

Scoot, It's cool. I understand. You feel like you don't really know me. I'll be okay. Really. After all this time, you don't KNOW ME. I'm a stranger.
A stranger...

Fucktard Savant said...

ho ho ho. It's going to get much, much worse. Sort of a slow steady slide for the next 50 years.

Warped Mind of Ron said...

I'm investing my entire 401K into aluminum foil. That way when everyone realizes that the aliens are involved they will rush out and by tin foil to make hats and line their houses. I will be rich I tell you rich... unless the squirrels get involved and ruin everything!

nitewalk6 said...

A money making idea...
gather, cage and breed as many rats as you can get into your apt. When they mature, spray paint them gold or silver, sprinkle with glitter and sell tham as adoptable Christmas toys for kids. Just like Cabbage Patch Kids etc.


or not.

Jack said...

Wait, how is not having stocks or 401k better than having them and losing only part of the money you had in them? I agree with your therapist's point, but her logic? And I agree with you for having one.

On an unrelated note: you need some boom, and I know da Boom King.

jeremy said...

who's da boom king?

Krissyface said...

Mr. FS--slow and steady for 50 years. I guess it could be worse...

Ron, that's brazilliant.

Nitewalk, I like your style.

Jack, it's certainly not better, love. However, I think she was trying to put it in perspective for me: the economic decline isn't affecting me as much as it might be others around me, since no matter what happens, I'm no poorer than I was before the economy tanked. Dig?

J...You are.

xl said...

I am all confused with this monetary crisis thing. I don't even balance my checkbook, FFS...

Jack said...

Yeah, I get it, and I'm glad it resonated with you. 8^)

(he's da Boom King)

catscratch said...

Yah, poverty isn't that bad. Trust me, I've been there since the wee age of 17 when I married asshat #1.

Kimber said...

I missed this blog post somehow. I will be your myspace friend Krissyface. I am in a similar situation as you. I live paycheck to paycheck, but I manage and as long as I keep my job I will continue to live in the manner I have become accustomed to. I may be in trouble in a couple years tho, when Sadie is old enought to not appreciate yard sale Christmas presents.

Prunella Jones said...

My broker, the Zig-Zag Man, told me to invest all my money in weed instead of the stock market. It turned out to be good advice. I'm still poor, but at least I'm mellow.

Krissyface said...

XL, well, I do my banking in an excel spreadsheet. I know exactly how much is coming in and how much is going out. It's easy to manage when you're workingw with such small numbers...

Jack, What is this boom king, anyway?

Cat, po people of the world, unite and...be poor together.

Kim, OMG, I totally hit that "used presents are unacceptable" phase about two years ago. I also got caught wrapping up a baby doll Lily received for her bday in Nov. and trying to regift it at Xmas. She's too smart now.

Pru, good advice, m'lady...

Memphis Steve said...

Dammit, I could've sworn I left a snarky comment here last week!