Monday, October 6, 2008

Nightmare du jour

Why do I have such terrible dreams? I am starting to think that it's punishment for all the evil I do during my waking hours.

I had a dream last night that I was staying at my parents' house and was desperately horny and needing to masturbate. But I couldn't find a quiet place to set up my laptop and the door to my childhood bedroom had no lock. And Lily wouldn't give me 5 minutes to myself.

Then I had to kill a giant tiger with my bare hands. It was horrible, because it was big and scary and biting and scratching me and I was fighting for my life here, then I stabbed it in the heart with a stake.

I woke up covered in sweat and shaking and muttering to myself.

What could this possibly mean? Anyone?

Oh, and happy Monday. Whatever.

18 comments:

Warped Mind of Ron said...

Hmmm well the tiger is basically an angry ummm... kitty and the stake is a very phalic symbol. Now I'm assuming you stabbed the kitty multiple times and most likely smoked a cigarette afterwards ;)

Booya said...

Five minutes? Damn, you go. At minute four I would already been asleep :)

I was having some crazy dreams for a while and I think it was related to some meds I was taking at night, I started taking them in the morning and they seemed stop. Well, I seemed to stop remembering them. Oh and spicy food late at night was doing the same thing to me. And I was probably really horny too! I think Ron has nailed it so to speak.

Jack said...

Was the laptop for the porn or the chat?

Krissyface said...

Ron, I stabbed the kitty so many times I lost count. Wait, what?
Yeahhhhh that's what I'm talkin bout

Booya, Come to think of it, I did have some spicy Thai takeout...

Jack, both, my dear.

Krissyface said...

Jack, I like your new ID card there. Jack and a mind. Oh so clevah.

Prunella Jones said...

Ron, is your last name Freud by any chance?

He's right, I just looked and found the term "stabbing the cat" meaning masturbation at Urbandictionary.com. How about that, you learn somethin new everyday.

xl said...

Could be confluence of:

a) living within earshot of the zoo's tiger exhibit.
b) anxiously waiting the arrival of the new "toy" ordered online

Jack said...

I like the way you think. Porn and a personal touch. Well, two personal touches...

So were you raised Catholic?

Mr. Poopie said...

I'm so not taking a stab. . . shit. I mean, I'm leaving this one alone.

jeremy said...

a giant lsu tiger?

Scooter said...

Dreams mean fuck-all. They are random synapses firing in your brain that are related to memory and your hippocampus trying to make sense of what the hell happened during your day.

I highly doubt you had to kill a tiger recently.

Any ways, since everyone's neurology is different, there is no possible way that I could accurately interpret what your three pounds was trying to figure out.

Someone closer to you with a psychiatric license might have a better idea, though.

But in the end, it'll boil down to "it means fuck-all, and you shouldn't have had that pop-tart".

Or something to that effect.

Fucktard Savant said...

I wasn't aware you needed a laptop in order to masturbate.

Memphis Steve said...

It means you want to have sex with a tiger in your parents' house while blogging about it on your laptop and streaming the video over the net so we can watch.

I say 'go for it'

Krissyface said...

Pru, fascinating stuff. Would love to talk, but I gotta go do some cat-stabbing now. Omglol.

XL, It's been a while since I ordered any new toys online. Maybe it's time to go shopping...

Jack, I was so raised Catholic. How'd ya guess?

Poop, come on, where's your guts?

J, you know, that didn't occur to me, but now that you mention it...
Mike? Maybe there's more to this dream than I originally thought.

Scoot, thanks, it's nice to be reminded every now and then that I overthink everything to goddamned hell.

Mr. FS, well, it's not required, but it certainly helps (wiggles eyebrows)

Steve, But I already had lots of sex with a tiger this weekend. RRROWER!!!!

catscratch said...

I have angry dreams when I'm not getting any... which is very often.

sparsely kate said...

Ok, I think it means your needs aren't being met!! :)

Hope you feel better soon x

jeremy said...

your needs aren't being met? wtf?

Memphis Steve said...

OK, lovely for you, but the streaming video feed, what about that? I didn't see a thing and I want to.