I think, perhaps, that I am offended.
This weekend I went to my mailbox to see if Netflix had delivered my copy of "The Business of Being Born" (I've got babies on the brain for some reason...last night I dreamed that I watched a woman shoot a baby out while holding this yoga position:
and the baby came out smiling and stood right up and waved at the crowd of onlookers)
I only check my mail every few days, mostly because what I receive is bullshit. Lots of credit card offers (now that I'm single and ready to mingle, companies think I have money. Which is funny), ads for local politicians, bills, "Vegetarian Times". If I miss the mail for a few days I'm not exactly upset.
But this time I pulled out an oversized envelope which was stamped with a nebulous (and large) message reading, "Let's Face It Now".
It? Well, what are we facing? And why now? I've got so much shit to do.
I opened the sketchified mystery package and inside was this.
An elaborate brochure advertising a mausoleum.
For as low as $40 a month, I can start paying off my final resting place.
That is the most depressing thing I have ever heard.
Also, it doesn't help the cause that the brochure probably hasn't been updated since 1975. I mean, look at the yellowed photos...I bet if you pulled back you'd see a baby blue Edsel parked by a gravesite.
So tell me, guys...what does it mean when you start receiving direct mail from cemeteries?
3 days ago