Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Anne Coulter is a yeast infection upon society

Hey. Hey you, Ann Coulter. You vile, birdfaced bitch.

You and your fake tits need to recognize. Normally I dismiss your ridiculous, wildly ignorant assaults on educated America with that simple head shake I reserve for the hopeless crazies on the subway, but your recent indictment of single mamas as the cause of 'most of societal problems' is just too much.

Too much, m'lady.

Hey, hey...Ann Coulter, Have you ever been a single mother?

No?

Oh. Well, you ought to try it. It's totally awesome. In fact, it's most women's childhood dream. I know when I was ten years old laying nightly in my pink canopy bed, contemplating what wonders my future held, I prayed relentlessly to my virgin mary nightlight that the good lord would grant me a child with an incapable disappointment of a father who bailed on his basic daily responsibilities, leaving me to do most, if not all of it, by myveryownself.

In fact, I often find myself supressing a gleeful smile that I got my very wish... especially on the nights that my daughter keeps both of us up with a hacking cough, then barfs all over my pajamas and insists upon sleeping curled up like a little turtle with her feet in my face, thereby keeping me from getting back to sleep at 4 in the morning, although I need to be up at 6 to get both of us ready for school and work.

With the exception of the Octomom, who is crazier than a bag of circus clowns, I think very few women embark upon the great journey of motherhood expecting that they will be doing it all on their own. And yet, more and more of us are. And the (growing) number of us out there are busting our asses to do it the best we can, while our babydaddies maintain active social lives, pay child support sporadically, and pop in on weekends for pizza and movies.

Curious, then, Ann Coulter, why you don't perhaps point your sharp little judgement stick at the deadbeat daddies of America, and ask why the hell more and more men are shrinking out of the picture, abandoning their obligations and getting away with it?

Actually, Ann coulter, I've a much better idea.

how's about you just take that there sharp, pointy judgement stick and stick it straight up your ass?

34 comments:

ty bluesmith said...

sounds like you need a cranberry juice.

no i know. just kidding.

Krissyface said...

I do though.

xl said...

An Ann Coulter Popsicle®? ick!

Warped Mind of Ron said...

I one day hope to attain the title of Baby Daddy. Well except I would like to be there and do things with the kid and stuff.

One of us is a troll. said...

Ann Coulter probably doesn't believe much of what she says. She's like Micky, only able to make money off of it.

Wow, that was awkward said...

I have no problem with Anne Coulter's..... boobs.

Joyless Prole said...

I so hope octomom raises them all the be circus clowns.

rkintn said...

So, should I go looking for that whey faced bitch's article? Or, will I end up on the evening news and then in jail because I tried to help her shove that pointy stick up her ass? LOL

And, bless your heart with the whole barfing turtle thing! I chuckled a little bit cause I can sooooooooooo relate! When Bubba was a little younger, I would always wake up with his big toe up my nose! Thankfully, now he doesn't do that anymore LOL

On second thought I think I will go and look that bitch up.

Effortlessly Average said...

I absolutely agree with your assessment, save one: not all babydaddies act that way. Some -this one in particular- would like nothing more than to have remained a nuclear family. Sometimes it's the "XX" chromosome that creates a single dad. Problem is, too many people -men and women included- analyze a marriage to damned much for what it does for THEM that they can't see past their next whim.

aaand after an uncomfortable look around, ranting single dad slides his soapbox back under the bed

Funny how she didn't mention single dads being the same problem with society, did she?

Kimber said...

Yeah!
I have no idea what you are referring to, but YEAH! Oh wait am I allowed to say that since I was one of the few who chose to have a child on my own rather than settle for some guy I didn't love just so I could have a baby?
Crazier than a bag of circus clowns is my new favorite thing to say, so thanks for that.

Jack said...

What'd she say this time?

She goes ass to mouth.

Ducking Little said...

Anything in particular bring on this deluge of Coulter Rage, or is it a monthly thing for you..?

Btw I think you should stop offending yeast. Yeast did nothing wrong. Sourdough bread takes ages to bake, you know.

gretchen said...

No shit. You REALLY had the pink canopy bed? Damn woman. You are the envy of all you survey.

gretchen said...

And does Ty know cranberry juice = bladder infection and yogurt = yeast?
I'm new here, and mean no offense.

Heidi said...

awesome point!
It takes two to make a baby, it's not our fault our kids dads are deadbeat losers who only care about themselves. It's not like we wanted to have a baby by someone who is emotionally retarted.

Normaly I don't bag on people, but this is one topic I'll make an exception for.

Jack said...

Wait, society is a vagina?

Anonymous said...

Soooo tired of irresponsible women thinking they deserve a medal for squirting out a pup! Newsflash! Deadbeat Dad - You picked him! He was once your knight in shining armor! You spread your legs and chose not to use birth control. You chose not to terminate the pregnancy. You had nagging questions about his character before you got involved with him. You thought you could change him. And you couldn't.

One of us is a troll. said...

Vaginas aren't the only things that get yeast infections. Society could have sweaty fat folds. Considering that this is American society....

Krissyface said...

XL, Yum...

Ron, There's a difference in my mind between babydaddy and daddy. If you get me.

Scoot, So right. Maybe Micky should start charging per post???

Awkward, they are really pretty. The only attractive thing about her.

Prole, Welcome! Yeah, I think that's probably a really good idea.

rkin, I will post the article ... it's a hoot.

Avg...I completely agree. My rant was reserved for Babydaddies who decide NOT to fulfill their obligations... even my babydaddy isn't that bad. But still, it amazes me how easy it is for them to shrink away and how much of the responsibility still falls on the custodial parent.

Kim, I have mad respect for you for doing that. And yes, you're allowed to hate anyone you want.

Jack, Hey, don't dis ass to mouth.

Duck, I'm all about the yeast. Just not in my vagina.

Gretchen, welcome. Welcome. Yes, I had the canopy bed.

Heidi, I don't normally bag on people either. Wait, I mean the opposite of that.

Krissyface said...

Anonymous,

While I do agree with some of your points, in that some women certainly get involved with the 'wounded bird' types thinking they can change them, and some even go as far as to have babies with them, that's not always the case, love.

In fact, my marriage went south after nine years when I found out the person I was married to was essentially living a double life.

So...do I deserve a medal? You bet your sweet ass I do. And so do millions of women who end up in my situation through no fault of their own.

Also, you seem to take issue with single mothers. If this is the same 'anonymous' person who has commented before.

Why don't you identify yourself so that we can have an open dialog about this?

(Pussy)

kay zee said...

Pussy is right.

Amen.

Effortlessly Average said...

Ain't that the truth Krissy! I share custody with my ex because I want the kids to have a relationship with her, not because I think she deserves it, given the way she left. Yet because I make so much more than her, I have to pay HER child support for the short time she has the kids. What kills me? No, not the money. It's that despite paying her four figures a month in "support," she still calls ME when the kids need something, assuming I'm supposed to provide it. Classic. heh.

Anonymous said...

It's that "I'm a Single Mom, therefore I have a sense of entitlement" mantra that gets to me. If you care about your kid, then take care of her/him and stop whining about how hard it is blah, blah, blah. It shouldn't be up to society to support you every step of the way. You don't hear men whining about fatherhood. Live by the consequences of your own actions.

Also, a lot of single mothers would trade their kid in a heartbeat to spend more time with their current "beau of the month." Television and day care will NEVER EVER be substitutes for a mother and father who give a damn.

Anonymous said...

Pussy? My, what a classy broad you is!

Meow, meow!

TED VELVET said...

I know this will piss you off till no end but for once in her dopey life Ann Coulter is kind of right. Jerkoff, dead beat dad's aside, a kid with only one parent watching them is statistically more likely to get into trouble,fuck off in school and become more sexually active at a younger age, thus making them single parents at a younger age. it's pretty simple. this doesn't mean that two parents won't have little assholes either, look at George Bush, But in Ann's defense she wasn't really talking about divorced parents, i think she was talking about serial single mom's who have babies with random dudes. plus, if you chicks would shut up, guys might stick around.

Krissyface said...

I don't know that many single moms who feel entitled to much except a little support from friends and family and a night out once in a while.

If you're referring to welfare moms who are just doing what their moms did because they were never taught anything different, then I might see your point, but I'm not like that, and neither are any of the educated, hardworking, awesome as fuck single moms I am acquainted with.

We all end up where we end up because life hands us what we're supposed to get handed, man. I agree that every grownup is responsible for him or herself and shouldn't expect anyone else to take care of them. This is why I didn't have more than one child with my babydaddy; I started to see some frightening signs after my little'un was born and watched things go south and her father start acting more and more like a fucking child.

And no, babe, you don't hear men whining about fatherhood. Know why? Because custody of the child goes to the woman in 90 percent of divorce cases. Oh, wah wah, it's so fucking hard to go see my kid on saturday and take her to the movies and buy her sneakers, then go home to my apartment by myself and hit the bong all night with no one waking up to tell me they peed the bed or had a nightmare or just want to be comforted. No, fathers don't complain. Because frankly, most fathers don't do what most mothers do. (There are ALWAYS exceptions, but this be the truth).

Krissyface said...

I love controversial posts!!!

MROWWWRRRR!

Anonymous said...

Per Krissyface: "We all end up where we end up because life hands us what we're supposed to get handed, man.

WTF?

So many women are like, "I don't know how this happened...it just did." Oh really? You got yourself pregnant? You didn't think about the long-term situation before hitting the sack? You just cross your finger and hope for the best because he was cute and a smooth talker? How about showing some respect for yourself and your life and your future?

Per Krissyface: "So...do I deserve a medal? You bet your sweet ass I do. And so do millions of women who end up in my situation through no fault of their own."

VS:
Per Krissyface:, "I don't know that many single moms who feel entitled to much except a little support from friends and family and a night out once in a while."

Thanks, you just proved my point.
How's about disciplining that cute little tyke next time you are dining out so everyone doesn't need to suffer?

By the way...such language!
You are such a lady, aren't you?
Is it possible to post without resorting to a level higher than 4-letter words? Your lack of class is showing, mom!

rkintn said...

Yeah, MefuckingOw, Anonymous. Not only are you a pussy but a seriously misinformed and idiotic pussy at that!

I would never ever trade my kids for time anyone else. I barely have time for myself much less a beau a month LOL

Thank God for you Krissy! You very succintly said what need to be said. Somebody's trolling but it still pisses me off to incoherency!

Krissyface said...

Careful, anonymous. Your hatred of women is showing. Somebody must've done you wrong in a big fucking way.

Mwah!

Rkin...power to the people.

Krissyface said...

Also, your hatred of kids. Hope you don't have any of your own. Shudder to think what they're gonna have to live through.

Vegas Linda Lou said...

Great post. Anne Coulter is a friggin' whack job. And the only person loonier than Octomom is the guy who planted those poor eight kids.

Prunella Jones said...

Sometimes I wonder if it is possible for me to hate republicans anymore than I already do. Then Anne opens her big fat mouth.

Yep, it's possible all right. It seems the depth of my hatred is bottomless.

beautifulwreck said...

I just stumbled over here and I have to say this is one of the funniest, right on posts I have read in some time!