Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Great, now I'm going to get fired for surfing porn sites

My company is hilarious. They block every site known to man where you might engage in 'social networking' (ie fun), like myspace, facebook, linked-in, and twitter, yet I can still access most of your blogs, which are nothing but filth.

This makes me scratch my head in confusion. Or it may just be the bedbugs.

Just kidding. I don't have bedbugs. Yet. But I just read that these little bloodlusting monsters are on the rise in New York. By 34%. How you end up with 34% more bedbugs in a matter of months I am not certain, but I definitely have invested in those plastic covers for the mattresses. But that's actually because Lily still pees the bed sometimes. Sigh.

Anyway. Back to the internazis at my job. Yesterday I was trying to access a link on LOTD, where I could take a quiz to see if I'm an asshole or not (thedipstop.com, it was), but it was blocked because it was characterized as 'pornography'. What the hell? Pornography?

Great. That's just great. Now not only am I forced to focus on my actual job because I can't chat with my friends on the facebook, but I'm going to be branded as a pornhound by the management too. Oh, well. I suppose it was bound to happen sooner or later.

In other news, I've recently acquired a funky orange beret, which I've been rocking throughout wintry NYC. It's warm, and helps people locate me if I get lost in a crowd. However, one of my co-workers has taken to calling me Rerun, which I most assuredly don't appreciate.



I don't see it. I mean, come on. His beret was red.

21 comments:

Just Sayin' said...

The true defining characteristic is not the beret... It's whether you can do that really funky Rerun pop-locking! That would be SWEET!

jeremy said...

god rest his soul.

Wow, that was awkward said...

You could learn a few things from Rerun. Note his wide mouth smile with no food, gum or other foreign substance spewing out (keeping with the porn theme). Unlike yerself, missy.

Kimber said...

I thought I had bed bugs once as I was waking up every morning to more and more red welts on my legs. I threw away my expensive mattress topper, washed every piece of cloth in the room in hot water and harsh soap, and set off bug bombs in my room coating everything in a film of poison. Turns out it was poison ivy.

Krissyface said...

Just Sayin, Pop lockin! OMG, I can totally do it.

J, I take off my beret to pay my respects.

Awkward, It's gum. Which is in my mouth 90% of the time, generally.

Kim, that SUCKS! I have a couple friends who have had bedbugs and I can't imagine having to deal with that crap...microwaving all my BOOKS?!
It's actually surprising that I HAVENT gotten them, considering all the thrift store clothing I buy. (And all the homeless people I bring home for one night stands.)

Memphis Steve said...

Red berets are for the commies in San Francisco. In New York the proper beret is black. Where is your Che t-shirt, comrade Hottie?

rkintn said...

Krissy, I think you are confusing bedbugs with lice, either way they are both nasty LOL

I like the beret and I liked ReRun, so to me it's a win win situation!

I'm Scooter, but I might be a troll. said...

Homeless one night stands. Well, that's one way to experience the joys of lyme disease...

kay zee said...

Bedbugs have been on the rise in Toronto as well.... but C and I are clean teens

The Third String said...

I dunno... I... I...

I kinda see it...

Robb Todd said...

Rerun is the man!

http://beta.sling.com/video/show/68492/39/The-Tickets

Jack said...

But, hey, you're full of it. That site is categorized as Adult Content. Be honest here.

And his beret was military style, where yours is more rasta.

nitewalk6 said...

If the little critters ever do invade your sleepy place have a carpet cleaner who knows wtf he's doing (there are few) clean and disinfect your mattress. There are specialized cleaners for that purpose and it is said that you should have the mites etc removed on an annual basis. The feed on human excrement, no not that kind, dander, dead skin etc. Mix that with Lily pee and you got yourself some good stew.

Vegas Linda Lou said...

Hmmm... Has anyone actually seen Krissy and Rerun in the same room?

Sproactually said...

You appear to be foaming at the mouth... I think those bed bugs may have rabies..

About the only thing that I can't hack around the filters at work is, ready for this.. the NY lottery site. Porn, social networking, online gaming, dating, NORAD launch control, all hacked.

Prunella Jones said...

You are rockin that hat, babe. I don't see Rerun at all. I see Mary Tyler Moore taking off her beret and flinging it skyward as she turns the world on with her smile. Even though I think that hat was blue. Or purple?

Warped Mind of Ron said...

I personally think the beret looks much better on you and I'm betting more people would want to see you pop-locking. LOL

Jack said...

Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
You're just the Reggae Ambassador

MsPuddin said...

I mean what kind of job doesnt let people check their MySpace.I think you should file a lawsuit! lol

I like the Beret.I'd go for black, but I think the orange works for you..

Memphis Steve said...

Hey, I was joking. Where'd you go? Don't go off and leave me here all alone. I was just making a joke. Come back!

Effortlessly Average said...

What I want to know is how they know it's been a 34% increase. Suggests someone keeps statistics and takes measurements of such things.

*knock at the door, followed by a muffled "open up! random bedbug inspection" from the other side* lol