I'm really tired of getting sub-par service at salons that specialize in working on my sensitive areas. For example, I spent a fuck ton to have a brazillian bikini wax last week and not only did the woman keep waxing and re-waxing the same spot (a very sensitive spot, at that) until I felt like I'd been rubbing myself against a barnacle, she actually coughed on my vagina at one point. Like, coughed right on it! Didn't cover her mouth or anything. Disgusting. Of course I tipped the bitch. I don't know any better. I think I was in shock.
Then today, I treated myself to a threading of my eyebrows and upper lip (an eye-wateringly painful but so worth-it process where someone pulls each errant hair out individually at the root with a string of thread. I don't get it either, but it hardly even grows back).
The eyebrows I don't always do, because I can just pluck those. I love to pluck anything on my body. Ingrown leg hairs, the occasional confused pubic hair that finds itself growing out of my chin. But the upper lip I try to get done professionally at least every three weeks, or I end up looking like one of my old Italian Aunts. I had one aunt in particular, god rest her soul, whose moustache was not only thick and unruly, but yellowish from tar b/c she smoked like a chimney while sitting on her plastic-enshrouded couch. I don't smoke, but I am definitely in the genetic line to inherit the 'stache if I'm not careful. So I'm extremely careful.
This threading woman abused me too. I ought to have kicked her ass. I left the salon fine, but went home to find red, swollen, raw patches at the corners of my mouth which I of course could not stop licking at like a lion with a thorn in its paw. Ouch. I'm pissed.
Maybe I need to pay better money for these services. Or maybe these people just need to take better care of me. WTF???!!!
The Blizzard of '17
5 days ago