Many of you must be wondering why I wasn't blogging last week. Come on, I know you were. you eagerly logged on to Ferrtileblog each day to find nothing but the same stupid play dough art pictures I'd uploaded before I left on my vacation. And you were like, what the fuck? Where did Kristin go? Lazy Ass. Doesn't she know I need some Fertile with my Starbucks in the morning?! My mundane work day (and life) sucks without Ferrtileblog! I miss her! And then you prayed that I was ok, that nothing bad had happened to me, because of course, you always assume the worst.
Well, my pretties, I have happily returned. Hello! With a little bit of a tan, even. And a lot of good sleep and fun family bonding under my belt (which is a little tight, since I ate nothing but pasta and bread and tofurkey sandwiches the whole week).
I was in Orlando. And it was kick-ass. My parents took my sister and me and our kids on a weeklong jaunt to the wunderful Funderland of Walt Disney World. That's right, mothafuckas!
Oh, there is truly nothing like watching the joy in your dad's eyes as he watches your daughter almost pee her pants as she first glimpses Cinderella's castle. It's almost better than cable TV. There are no words.
I joke that they must pump extra oxygen into the air in the magic kingdom, because you can't help but walk around feeling happy. I just wanted to hug everyone all the time. I had a goofy blissed-out smile on my face and I couldn't wait to do and see everything I possibly could.
Just want to give a shout out to Mom and Dad, whose generosity I cannot even describe or begin to thank them for. Thanks, guys. Just...thanks. Love you guys.
The magic kingdom is PHAT at night. This is right before Lily head-butted Devin. And things got kind of ugly for a minute. By the way, what's up with my pants? Get back in your bottle, Genie. Why did I think that looked good?
Ariel is a little shocked at how much Lily likes to talk.
Lily makes fish faces in epcot.
My fabulous parents. That's a chocolate-covered frozen banana, by the way. You sickos.
The Blizzard of '17
3 days ago