Warning: This post is really shitty.
Lily is, as I would suspect most four year olds are, obsessed with bodily functions. Peeing, barfing, bloodletting, coughing up phlegm, you name it. She had some blood drawn the other day for kindergarten (SHE GOT INTO THE CHARTER SCHOOL!!! YAY!!!), and she was fascinated with the way the needle went into her arm and sucked the blood up into the vial. She wanted to watch the whole procedure. (Let's hope this interest in biology will lead to a brilliant career in medicine. You know, nursing homes and adult diapers and liver transplants are gonna be expensive in a few decades).
But for now, do you know what four year olds really like to talk about?
The more time I spend with young children, the more I realize how truly hilarious fecal matter can be.
I'm also amazed by the numerous ways in which the word "poop" can be used to season just about any phrase a child utters. It really just adds that little extra something. AND, generally, its use is followed by an eruption of raucous laughter that can only be matched (and appreciated) by other nearby four-year-olds (and maybe the occasional five-year-old). Which also really adds something special. It's like being at a really unfunny comedy show.
Here it is used in a song:
"Twinkle, Twinkle, little Poop, How I wonder what you Poop!"
At the dinner table, during grace:
"Thank you, god, for the food on the table, and for Jesus and the Poopies."
Mom: "Lil, what do you want to eat?"
Lily: "How about...Poopies with syrup?"
Mom: "What should we read tonight?"
Lily: "How about that book about the poop?"
Mom: (eyes rolling, throat clearing, sighing, silently trying to calculate if there is enough tequila in the freezer for a margarita): "We don't have any books about poops."
Lily: "Oh, well. I guess we'll just have to read a poop."
The Blizzard of '17
5 days ago