Thursday, June 5, 2008

Bodily Function of the Week

Warning: This post is really shitty.

Lily is, as I would suspect most four year olds are, obsessed with bodily functions. Peeing, barfing, bloodletting, coughing up phlegm, you name it. She had some blood drawn the other day for kindergarten (SHE GOT INTO THE CHARTER SCHOOL!!! YAY!!!), and she was fascinated with the way the needle went into her arm and sucked the blood up into the vial. She wanted to watch the whole procedure. (Let's hope this interest in biology will lead to a brilliant career in medicine. You know, nursing homes and adult diapers and liver transplants are gonna be expensive in a few decades).

But for now, do you know what four year olds really like to talk about?


The more time I spend with young children, the more I realize how truly hilarious fecal matter can be.

To them.

I'm also amazed by the numerous ways in which the word "poop" can be used to season just about any phrase a child utters. It really just adds that little extra something. AND, generally, its use is followed by an eruption of raucous laughter that can only be matched (and appreciated) by other nearby four-year-olds (and maybe the occasional five-year-old). Which also really adds something special. It's like being at a really unfunny comedy show.


Here it is used in a song:
"Twinkle, Twinkle, little Poop, How I wonder what you Poop!"

At the dinner table, during grace:
"Thank you, god, for the food on the table, and for Jesus and the Poopies."

At Breakfast:
Mom: "Lil, what do you want to eat?"
Lily: "How about...Poopies with syrup?"

At Bedtime:
Mom: "What should we read tonight?"
Lily: "How about that book about the poop?"
Mom: (eyes rolling, throat clearing, sighing, silently trying to calculate if there is enough tequila in the freezer for a margarita): "We don't have any books about poops."
Lily: "Oh, well. I guess we'll just have to read a poop."

Smashing idea.


Anonymous said...

Ronan loves "Everyone Poops" by Taro Gomi

Cindy-Lou said...

You know, you're lucky you have a girl. The amusement will eventually go away. You know it doesn't for boys, even when they grow up.

Warped Mind of Ron said...

Hee hee!! You said "poop" Ha hahahahahaha.

Poop humor never goes out of style it's humor level is only surpassed out by farts.

Sproactually said...

Yeah... you know talking with like, other grown up people can help.

I mean, we never use the word "poop"

However, tequila can help.

Scooter said...

You know... I use poop every spring in my garden.

Cindy Lou is right... I guess it doesn't go away for guys.

But the tomatoes are delicious.

Krissyface said...

Kelly, I never actually bought that book. I didn't want to encourage what I was sure was to come. But I know Lil would have loved it.

CL, I often think that. Having been married before, I definitely hear you, girlfriend. Sigh. What can you do.
Boys will be boys. And boys will be disgusting. But we still love them.

Ron, See above.

Steve, Tequila helps a great many things.

Scoot, you're adorable, but I will never eat your tomatoes. It just doesn't seem fittin'.

Anonymous said...

I can still crack my boys up with gratuitous use of the word "butt."

Ginormous Boobs said...

I've noticed that men of all ages are entertained by poop.

Big Momma Pimpalishisness said...

Seriously, poop still makes me laugh.

I laughed every time the word was mentioned in this post in fact.

Krissyface said...

Jack, 'butt' is a good one, but 'hiney' gets more of a response in our house. It just sounds sillier.

Ginornous, you speak the truth, sister.

Momma, you can't deny the humor in it. I mean, I can, because I have to hear it every day. But in general, it is kind of a funny word.

Kimber said...

My brother potty trained to the tunes of Poo-Poo Rain, Poo-Poo Poo-Poo Little Star, and the Pickle song (Arlo Guthrie). We had to sing these songs to him while on the toilet, or he would not go.

Scooter said...

It's not people poop! It's cow poop! It comes in a bag!

catscratch diva said...


Anonymous said...

Ronan saw an episode of "Little Bill" where one boy called Little Bill a "poopie diaperhead baby" when they were playing "ranking." You should have heard the laugh that came out of Ronan. Jeff thinks it's hysterical when Kiera farts if you bring her knees into her stomach when you change her diaper. Guess this type of humor never ends for boys/men.

jeremy said...

what a nincapoop.

Krissyface said...

Kim, I still have certain rituals I need or I cannot go to the bathroom. In Touch Weekly, for instance.

Scoot, I don't care what animal's ass it came from, it's still gross!!!

Cat, that's riiiiight

Kell, Jeff thinks farting is funny? That surprises me.
Not really. Not at all.

Jeremy, Ninca Poop?

Mighty Dyckerson said...

Lily sounds like my kind of people. Let me know when that little shit turns 18.

Ms Smack said...

Hahahah, fantastic. They'll be priceless stories at her 21st.

Kids bring such joy, eh?

Krissyface said...

Dyck, I will not.

Ms. Smack, Joy. Yes. Joy.