Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Cleaning Things. And stuff.

Hey lovies!

My deepest apologies for my hiatus from the blogger.
I was on a lovely long weekend trip to Boston, where there was much debauching and such.

I'm on a one-month 'forced sabbatical' from work (long, boring ass story), so in the last weeks my days have consisted of playing board games on my shag carpet in front of the giant fan with a four-year old girl who refused to put on any clothes (note: don't let the kid be the banker in Monopoly. She will rob you blind. Also, she can't count). Other interesting activities included sitting on my ass at the park with my mamas and talking crap while the kids ran around like crazy people in the sprinklers, going out for pizza too much, visiting the library, watching terrible kids' DVDs, and cleaning my refrigerator.

Needless to say, it was so goddamned unspeakably glorious to spend a few days away from my dirt hole of an apartment, where I didn't have to wait on a little napoleon demanding OJ and Peanut Butter Panda Puffs (organic!) at 6 am. Also really nice to put on clean clothes that I know won't get anything spilled on them. And I didn't miss the cat's ass in my face in the morning if I wasn't upright pouring cat chow in a bowl before I got my fucking coffee. Oh, utter delight!

I miss Boston.

But, at least with Lily at her first day of camp today, I got to really do a through cleaning of aforementioned dirt hole.

Hi! I've missed you guys.

Note: Thinking about cheaping out the next time you are at the grocery and buying the 99 cent garbage bags instead of the name brand ones? Don't do it.

There is a reason they cost 99 cents. That is because they are about as thick as a lamb-skin condom. And would you pour 5 pounds of urine-soaked silica cat litter into a lambskin condom? I think not.

Learn from my mistakes. I implore you...



Obesio said...

I too have been favored with the cat litter bag explosion due to my near pathological need to pay the lowest price imaginable for household goods. My favorite part about the experience is when I can't decide how to respond to the hole in the bag and the urine soaked litter pouring out. Why do I continue to walk for a few feet, creating a trail of gag-inducing stupidity? Do I think that the bag will repair itself with nano-technology as I squat-walk towards the door?

jeremy said...

clumping litter, love. always clumping litter.

Prunella Jones said...

Ah, I know this trash bag theory of which you speak quite well. I'm always tempted by the 99 cent deals but I too have learned the hard way that they are not hefty, hefty, but wimpy, wimpy.

Scooter said...

I am in the favored position of receiving 7 plastic bags that can hold about seventy copies of the Ann Arbor News just about every day there is even the slight chance of it raining.

I haven't paid for a trash bag since 1994.

kay zee said...

Pretty Kitty Litty

Krissyface said...

Obesio, I feel your pain. I took the long road out of this dilemma and let the bag bleed its retched contents onto a bathmat that I didn't like anyway, which I then tossed in the trash. Wasteful bitch.

Jeremy, I gave up on the clumping kind years ago, because of the smell. As a man with many cats, I'd assumed you'd have learned the wonders of silica...no odor whatsoever! And you only have to change it like every 2 weeks. No shit. Now, what it's doing to the environment, I cannot speak to that. Nor do I care to.

Pru, Word to your mother. Who is a very good writer, btw...

Scoot, how the gods smile favorably upon you. Spread some of that sunshine over here, will you?

KZ, Yeah, pretty fugly.

Scooter said...

Silicon is the second most common element found in the earth's crust after oxygen.

Don't worry about it, Kris.

Sproactually said...

Your supposed to clean the cat box??? That explains alot about the smell in the basement.

Krissyface said...

Scoot, whew. I feel so much better now.

Steve, you make them go in the basement?

Warped Mind of Ron said...

Cat litter is one reason I'm a dog person. For the most part they will go outside to take care of things and only leave presents on the rug when they are pissed off.

Anonymous said...

Heh, heh. "board games on my shag carpet."

catscratch diva said...

I did the cheap bags. Once.

Boston was wonderful this last trip. I think I just freaked out the first time I was there due to lack of direction, snow and sucky driving around in a big city ability.

Pronto said...

No cats here anymore, alas.

But, I do have dogs, one of which actually seems to shit more than he eats every day. Not sure of the physics of all that......

I actually buy the cheap bags.

But, after my first experience in picking up dog shit with them, I've learned to double-bag. So, in the end, I guess I'm not saving any money after all.

I'm stoopid like that :0(


CMW said...

Cat litter is the pits. I don''t miss having cats at alll.

Go Red Sox!

Krissyface said...

Ron, I actually used to have an indoor/outdoor cat who used the toilet, so I didn't have a litter box. No shit. Literally.

Jack, I'm sorry, I don't speak sex pervert.

Cat, it's much nicer in the summer. And with someone who likes to bar hop and make out all over the place as much as you do.

Pronto, My sister has a cat like that. Disgusting. Shits way more than she eats.

C dub, You Boston fans are such freaks. There was actually a sign in a store window in Boston that read, "Yankees Choke". Whatever. You won, be happy. Stop being so goddamned insecure