I picked up a local newspaper while I was visiting upstate New York this weekend. And on the cover page was a very interesting story about Bigfoot sightings in the area. A couple of local rednecks--er, residents-- are quite convinced they've been seeing what they believe to be a 7 foot Sasquatch chilling out on their properties. Of course it also might be a large naked homeless man rooting through their garbage and eating their pet food, but they are so certain it is the actual Bigfoot, they've even got the local company Searching for Bigfoot, Inc.. on the case.
As it happens, Searching For Bigfoot, Inc. is the only fully operational mobile Bigfoot hunter in upstate New York...abundantly appointed with tasers, night-vision goggles, thermal imagers, tranquilizer guns and a biopsy gun, which shoots a dart to collect skin, hair and blood from whatever it strikes.
From today's Kingston Freeman: Patty Williams said she first saw a bigfoot on her property about four months ago. She said she the creature was near the tree line and by her pigpen.
"It had a juvenile with it about my height," Williams said on Friday. She said the creatures went into the pen and ate her pig's food but did not bother any of her animals. Williams said she threw a rock near where she believed one of the creatures was and it threw the rock back. She said she also threw a football and that it came back.
Well. If I were to see a Bigfoot in my backyard, my first instinct would certainly be to throw a rock at him. Or better yet, I'd search my garage until I found a football to throw, in case he wanted to play catch. It definitely wouldn't occur to me to get my fucking camera phone or video camera. No way.