Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue

...And the wrong year to be a contracted graphic designer at an investment bank, D'oh!

Oh, it's just so typical. I finally pop a tentative pinky toe back into the vast sea of the American workforce (after a 3.5 year hiatus to be home with Lily), and the economy dumps itself so far down the crapper it may take years for it to come back.
Great, that's just great. Thanks, god. Kick ass.

I can't shake the same sinking feeling I had when, a year after moving to NYC, 9/11 happened. I am starting to see a trend here, folks. I know it's egocentric, but you can't deny the 'coincidences'.

I obviously make things happen. Bad things. Maybe I'm tainted. Or radioactive. Or just a plain old bad luck charm, like The Hope Diamond. Those of you in Los Angeles (and you know who you are) better thank your lucky stars I haven't moved into your neighborhood, because you just know the Big One is waiting for me to hit town before it rocks the state of California into the ocean, Thank You and Good Night.

But I digress.

I can't spend hours obsessing over the (very real) possiblitiy of losing my job. I'm trying, instead, to get proactive. Focus my energies on my god-given talents and brainstorm about what I can do to ensure that Lily and I don't end up on the street, or worse, back on Long Island. (Just kidding mom! Hee hee! Still got that spare bedroom, right?)

So on my way to the train this morning I saw my scantily-clad neighbor who I am pretty sure is what you disgusting people call a Lady of the Evening.
The difference is, though, that she treks up and down the streets at all hours of the day and night in her Spandex microminis and rubber boots. She gets into black Lincoln Town Cars with tinted windows and speeds off to unknown neighborhood destinations, to engage in activities I can only imagine in my (very vivid, somewhat horny) imagination.

I don't know. I could be totally off the mark here. Maybe she is just a Starbucks barista who likes to dress slutty and splurge on car services to work. But really, I don't think so.

So, here's what I'm thinking. It's good to have a backup career, right? And you should pick something you're good at, otherwise, what's the point? And in this economy, I think a cash business is really the best way to go.

So, I figure I'll catch her on her way to 'work' on one of these breezy mornings/afternoons/evenings, and sort of chat her up about how one might go about breaking into her 'profession'.


Like I said, proactive, folks. Get your ducks lined up in a row and have a backup plan. Watch and learn from me, darlings.

Watch and learn.