Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Enjoy the silence?

It's weird. I'll have a week when I'm all but bubbling over with inane observations on politics, parenting and Lindsay Lohan, and then I'll just get stopped up and have nothing to say to you guys. Like there's a big, fat tampon stuck up my brain or something.

But fear not, faithful readers. I'm back. And I've much to say.

Not really. But there is big news... Babydaddy got his own place.
After gypsying around NYC for the last 18 months, patrolling various friends' couches and grabbing quick bits of nutritive sustenance at the home of yours truly, Shawn's moved into his own apartment. Praise all that is holy and the blessed virgin!

He has his own room in a large apartment that is close to Lily's school and is inhabited by quiet, dumpling-frying Chinese men.

Last night Lily had her first sleepover at Daddy's. I was excited for them to have some bonding time with each other and for me to have some bonding time with a bottle of merlot. But instead of reveling in the peace of a night to myself, it, I found myself suffocated by the quiet. I got naked and shuffled through the rooms of my apartment in my slippers, talking to the cat about how it was flurrying outside and did he want to watch "The Office" with me? I got three DVDs from Netflix!
But he just looked at me with lazy disinterest and rolled over for his belly to be scratched.

This morning was even weirder. How strange to take a shower by myself without a little person shrieking from the living room,

How interesting to watch the news without the warble of my 5-year-old lobbying for "Dragon Tails"; how foreign to wrap only myself in outerwear, to make sure only one person peed before venturing out into the bone-cold morning air.
I walked right to the subway without making the long detour to the bus stop, without Lily skipping next to me, chattering away in a faux-fur coat and licking the peanut-butter coating off her granola bar.

All in all, it was kind of a letdown. It really sort of sucked.

I miss her.

In other news, I have a cold sore. It's gross. And it hurts, especially since last night I accidentally bit it in my sleep. I've never had the mouth herpes before, and can't shake the vicious irony that I made it through all of my whoring college years without contracting an STD and suddenly at 35 I loook like I've been sucking dick in an alley. I've been dabbing at it with tea tree oil, because I'm all natural and shit. But damn, how long does it take for these things to go away?

Happy Wednesday!!!


Booya said...

Well aren't you just a potpourri of mental images! I hate it when my little ones aren't around too, it sucks like a cold sore.

Stay out of those allys!

The Third String said...

krock, you never fail to let me down with your... descriptiveness. That tampon thing. Whew! What a vision.
Be well.

xl said...

"I got naked and shuffled through the rooms of my apartment in my slippers, talking to the cat"

Now, there's a different kind of cat lady!

Scooter said...

Hmm. Cats and naked New Yorkers. It sounds like a documentary.

Warped Mind of Ron said...

Glad the ex found a home and gets some quality time with his daughter. Enjoy you alone time while you can, soon she'll be back.

Mr. Poopie said...

Ooohhh, I used to get some nasty ones as a kid. Of course you heal a lot faster when you're YOUNGER. Lol, just kidding. I love tea trea oil, but I think you might need some Abreva. Just sayin'.

nitewalk6 said...

I just can't get past the mental picture: walking aroound naked, in slippers with a tampon string coming out an ear, sigh

Anonymous said...

That's two problems solved; he's got a place to live, and a new sexual preference. Once those dumpling-frying Chinks get a hold of his balls, BAM!, no more sexual tension or drunk dialing.

Sorry you had to miss your little Sweetie.

Have you got a fever with the sore? If you don't, you've been sucking alley-cock in your sleep.

Krissyface said...

Booya, it's what I do. Description. Kind of my thing.

3RD, I try. I try.

XL, I strive to be a little different. Naked Cat Lady, that's me.

Scoot, that gives me an idea...

Ron, yeah, it's kind of cool.

Poop, I know. I don't want to use that shit though. Then I have to really admit that I have the mouth herpes.

Nitewalk, glad to leave you with that parting shot.

Jack, Do you think so? I didn't even think of that!

jeremy said...

i didn't realize your brain was having its lady time. it seemed so rational.

Krissyface said...

I didn't say my brain was bleeding. I just said it was stopped up.

Ladytime. Hee.

The Third String said...

An afterthought... you could have been a little more poetic here. Changed the name (after the Manfred Mann album) to "The Roaring Silence" :) Kind of appropriate.