Sunday, May 18, 2008

Hella Rain

When I woke up this morning, it was a balmy, sunny 70 degrees in Assstoria. So I called my friend Lizzie and we threw the kidlets in the car and hauled ass to Long Beach. Except, by the time we got there, that sack of shit weatherman's prediction had come true and the sky had hardened to a bitchy gray and looked like it was about to crack open and bring a world of rain on us.

So we went to Rachie's house instead. Rachie lives two blocks from the beach and her house is always spilling over with kids in superhero costumes, neighbors stopping by for margaritas and mac'n'cheese, and nasty little Chihuahuas that bite at your ankles. And she never locks her door. I know I can write this because she admitted that she never reads the blog. So, everyone go rob Rachie. Just kidding. She doesn't really have any stuff to steal. But she's still a great friend and she was an exceptionally patient and generous host today.

The kids ended up playing so hard that they were totally exhausted on the ride home, but they didn't nap. And of course we sat in slow, rain-smeared traffic all the way home, and Lily and Justus were doing an ok job of sharing snacks and not pinching each other or tattling until about 3/4 of the way home when Justus piped up suddenly with, "Maaaawmee!"

We turned around and he was holding up a ballpoint pen and he said, "Lily told me to write on my face."

I turned around to see Lily crouched down next to Justus with her eyes squeezed shut and her fingers jammed in her ears, like as if by tuning out the response of the two irritated mothers up front, she could pretend that she'd never made such a nasty little demand of her sweet friend.

I just don't understand why my daughter is so bossy and passive-aggressive with the boys. I simply cannot for the life of me comprehend where she could possibly have gotten that trait. I am, quite frankly, at a loss.

10 comments:

Liz said...

I'm so glad you wrote about that, because I completely forgot that shit. And that shit was funny.

Krissyface said...

that's why I was laughing into my shoulder for like five minutes. That shit was funny.

Warped Mind of Ron said...

Gosh, did you forget one of the rules that governs the universe? If you can't hear it or see it it obviously doesn't exist. Much like how the Boogeyman can't hurt you if you have your head under the covers.

catscratch diva said...

Oh yah, memories. My daughter and her two cousins..... She had them so wrapped and she could get them to do anything...

Prunella Jones said...

Sounds like Lil has got it going on. Much beter than letting boys push her around.

Krissyface said...

Ron,
Yep, that rule governs the 4 year old's universe, no doubt. Didn't realize it applied to big people. But I do like to have all appendages tucked under the covers at night...

Cat,
Yes, we often call Lily "the pied piper", as she can be seen skipping across the park in a sundress smeared with peanut butter, surrounded by children doing what she says. No shit.

Pru,
yeah, it's a little like looking in a mirror. omglol.

Scooter said...

Well, maybe she'll marry a nice boy from Long Island with the words "Cock whore" tattooed to his forehead...

Krissyface said...

Now Scooter, why would anyone tattoo "cock whore" on his forehead? Be reasonable now.

Scooter said...

A really bad bender and fifty bucks, along with mean, mean, MEAN friends...

Krissyface said...

sounds like it's personal.
Eek.