So I'm sitting at the park again today (one of the delicious benefits of my new night schedule is that I get to spend my afternoons with my ass planted on a park bench again, surrounded by my mama pals. Sometimes it feels just like college, except then we sat on barstools. And there was alcohol. And cigarettes. And no children).
So we start talking about the things we do to get our kids to eat.
Luckily, Lily has always been a pretty good eater. As y'all might suspect from reading these posts, I take health pretty seriously. Nutrition especially. I haven't forced vegetarianism on Lil, but I don't ever cook meat, so she rarely has it in my presence (though the first thing she said when she tried steak, after I'd gently explained to her where it came from, was, "More cow, please").
She knows the deal. Have a little of everything. If you want something wicked delicious (Rice Dream Scooter Pie, for example, we be way decadent), eat your carrots. And don't sass me.
So my friend Heather wasn't having the same luck with her son Lucas about a month ago. She tried in vain to explain to him all about the starving children in third world countries who don't have the benefits of microwavable Annies Organic Mac and Cheese, or McDonalds, for example.
So in exasperation she logged on to the UNICEF web site and showed him photos of starving children.
"See? See their bellies? They are big and fat because they HAVE NO FOOD IN THEM!!!"
The visual of this made me almost pee my pants. I could just picture Heather at lunch time, hair piled on top of her head, muffins in the oven, baby Rose on her hip, close to losing her shit. She'd be taking Lucas, in his Spidey underpants, by the hand and sitting him at the laptop. I could see her Googling "graphic images of starving children". Oh, she is just devilishly, devilishly clever.
I believe that Lucas was speechless about that.
Somehow we got on the next topic today of recycling toys. During a spring cleaning sweep, Heather said she'd asked Lucas if he wanted to keep his Mr. Potato Head, which had lost all its facial features over time and was now no more than simply a plastic, holey potato. He told her, "Oh, just throw it in the garbage, Mom".
Heather was appalled. "I mean, now I have to explain about all the children in the world who don't have TOYS!!!"
I made a helpful suggestion. "Did you try Googling images of children standing on top of land fills? Or what about images of children in tattered clothing, clutching filthy baby dolls?"
Very funny, Kristin.
I thought so.
4 days ago