Know what's really fun?
Getting about 3 hours' sleep, then waking up to a 4 year old climbing in bed beside you, declaring her pull-up dry as a bone, and demanding a prize from the prize box for her efforts. After you bring her dry cereal, vitamins and OJ, that is.
Then you turn on the TV, in a desperate attempt to pacify the little Napoleon with a shrieking Elmo and/or Big Bird, so that you can maybe grab another 45 minutes and stop feeling like you took a bad hit of acid.
But the 4 year old wants, instead, to turn the television off, pull out her baby photo albums and thumb slowly through them, pointing out every single individual in every single picture and asking for a detailed explanation of each person and his/her relationship to her.
So you do this, because you have no other choice, really. And in doing so you actually start to chuckle when you look at the pictures and remember how sleep-deprived you were then and how it's not so different from how you feel right fucking now.
Not one damned bit.
But some of the pictures are funny.
This picture was taken before Lily was even a twinkle in my eye. And it shows. No wrinkles.
I was a bridesmaid in a friend's wedding two weeks before Lil came. I remember hopping around on the dance floor trying to get labor to start. The girl on the right is a model and anchor on the Naked News in Canada. That was really good for my self-image that day. Also, I couldn't drink and I had to buy a size 16 dress, which barely fit over my stomach. I was ginormous and pissed. But glowing. Right? RIGHT???
This was Lily's first baby doll, we called Barry, because he looked like the actor Barry Pepper. We liked to do things to him like bury him in the sand in Florida. Lily got a charge out of these antics. She didn't know any better. I guess it's a good thing she didn't get any siblings.
Lily looking kind of like a baby Janis, wearing the most awesome thrift store coat I got for $3 at Janes Exchange in the East Village, which I think is now closed. The pants were hand-me-downs from my friend Rachie, who has a rich sister who only buys designer baby clothes. I think they are actually Ralph Lauren, believe it or not.
When I was staying home with Lily I used to get bored. Sometimes, when she was napping, I'd set up elaborate scenarios around her little sleeping figure and take funny pics. I call this one "Queen of the Stuffed Animal Village Launches Stealth Attack".
I call this my "sleep deprivation haircut". I thought I'd look cute with bangs. So I cut them myself. Really too short.
I was thinking Betty Page. But not so much. This was Lil's first birthday party, which was of course right around Halloween. Lily and Shawn are dressed like convicts.
4 days ago