Tuesday, April 29, 2008


Know what's really fun?

Getting about 3 hours' sleep, then waking up to a 4 year old climbing in bed beside you, declaring her pull-up dry as a bone, and demanding a prize from the prize box for her efforts. After you bring her dry cereal, vitamins and OJ, that is.

Then you turn on the TV, in a desperate attempt to pacify the little Napoleon with a shrieking Elmo and/or Big Bird, so that you can maybe grab another 45 minutes and stop feeling like you took a bad hit of acid.

But the 4 year old wants, instead, to turn the television off, pull out her baby photo albums and thumb slowly through them, pointing out every single individual in every single picture and asking for a detailed explanation of each person and his/her relationship to her.

So you do this, because you have no other choice, really. And in doing so you actually start to chuckle when you look at the pictures and remember how sleep-deprived you were then and how it's not so different from how you feel right fucking now.

Not one damned bit.

But some of the pictures are funny.

This picture was taken before Lily was even a twinkle in my eye. And it shows. No wrinkles.

I was a bridesmaid in a friend's wedding two weeks before Lil came. I remember hopping around on the dance floor trying to get labor to start. The girl on the right is a model and anchor on the Naked News in Canada. That was really good for my self-image that day. Also, I couldn't drink and I had to buy a size 16 dress, which barely fit over my stomach. I was ginormous and pissed. But glowing. Right? RIGHT???

This was Lily's first baby doll, we called Barry, because he looked like the actor Barry Pepper. We liked to do things to him like bury him in the sand in Florida. Lily got a charge out of these antics. She didn't know any better. I guess it's a good thing she didn't get any siblings.

Lily looking kind of like a baby Janis, wearing the most awesome thrift store coat I got for $3 at Janes Exchange in the East Village, which I think is now closed. The pants were hand-me-downs from my friend Rachie, who has a rich sister who only buys designer baby clothes. I think they are actually Ralph Lauren, believe it or not.

When I was staying home with Lily I used to get bored. Sometimes, when she was napping, I'd set up elaborate scenarios around her little sleeping figure and take funny pics. I call this one "Queen of the Stuffed Animal Village Launches Stealth Attack".

I call this my "sleep deprivation haircut". I thought I'd look cute with bangs. So I cut them myself. Really too short.
I was thinking Betty Page. But not so much. This was Lil's first birthday party, which was of course right around Halloween. Lily and Shawn are dressed like convicts.


Warped Mind of Ron said...

LOL, good pictures. I would play with my niece and her dolls would do the most evil things with me in control :)
I would so bury a doll up to it's neck in sand and so would my niece.

Scooter said...

Huh, I took a few pictures myself... for craigslist to get rid of a bunch of bikes, but I may just post twice today.


catscratch diva said...

I wish I could have seen the first two pix. They were all super cute, I love the stealth attack!

Pronto said...

I think I see a hint of a twinkle in your eyes in that first photo....

Just sayin'

Krissyface said...

Evil, really. Do tell.

I think I'd be more likely to buy a bike from you if your picture was attached to it. Especially if you're holding the shot glass, like you are in your profile pic. Even better if you're riding the bike and holding the shot glass! Wicked!

You can't see the first two?

That's not a twinkle, that's drunkenness. Hee!

Pronto said...

Ah yes, I see it now.....

Anonymous said...

Actually, I kind of like the bangs, thought hey are definitely not conservative.

Prunella Jones said...

Your daughter is so cute she could be the mayor of cute town! I love that little jacket. It makes my overies ping.

Sproactually said...

I don't know whats more fun, reading what you write, or reading your comments.

Just don't ever look at lily, after she completes some sort of fit and say to her, "you know, your other sister used to do that"

I still hear about that from my daughter from time to time... 15 years later.

I've made alot work for the shrinks of NY for the next 20 years.

Krissyface said...

Underhill, you like the bangs? Really? You have a thing for retarded chicks, huh? Just kidding.

Pru, Ping, ping.

Steve, I think I'll say, "Your imaginary sister used to do that". That sounds funnier. And probably will end up being true.

honkeie2 said...

I take pictures so that once the drunken haze of the early years is gone I have some evidence i was there lol....just kidding. i only drink after they go to sleep...like right now....drambuie and sprite...dont ask!