Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Kindergarten Chronicles, Part I

Oh, Christ. I so didn't want this to turn into one of those lame ass Mommy Blogs. But sometimes I have to share. Because the shit Lily says is funny.

Since she started kindergarten, Lily's and my evening dinner exchanges have gotten more and more interesting. Also, more random.

Sample dinner conversation 1:

Lil: I had a great day.

Mom: That's great, baby. How come?

Lil: I can't tell you. I'm......concentrating.

Conversation 2:

Lil: I get to be the lollipop fairy at school all week.

Mom: Really? What's the lollipop fairy do?

Lil: Well, we get to help Monique (the teacher) and pick one boy to be the boy lollypop fairy. I picked Alexander V. He is sooooo nice to me. Sometimes he is mean to other people and he gets time outs. But not to me. I am in looooove with him.

Mom: Love? Really. Wow. What's it like to be in love?

Lil: Well, we're going to be best friends forever. Until 5th grade. Also, Tiffany wants to be in love with Alexander V., but I am in love with him. He pulls his socks up to his knees. That's how I wear my socks now.

(5 minutes later)

Lil: Who did I say I was in love with, again?

Conversation 3 (bedtime):

Lil: Guess what I want to be for Halloween?

Mom: (sighs wearily): Let me guess. Cinderella again?

Lil: No, a pumpkin!!!

Mom: Awesome! Grandma and I will totally make you a costume!!! We can get orange tights, and paint your face...

Lil: Actually, No...I think instead I want to be a potato.

Stay tuned, y'all.


Chele said...

Lil is the coolest kid ever. I love hearing the VERY random things she manages to say, so funny.

jeremy said...

a little ritalin would probably help her keep track of who she's in love with. probably.

Sproactually said...

Awww... you so nice to Lil, here is how my exchanges go with my offspring.

Hi Dad..
Hey, whats up.
I need Money,books,clothes et al.

Hi Dad..
How's it going?
Really, why?
I (wrecked, blew the motor, lost, was stolen, needs brakes, got a ticket with) the car.

So my last note...
Please send me a current, and proper digital photograph of each of you.

You can see them tomorrow after I put all of you E-Bay.

Love, Dad.

Scooter said...

I think forgetting who you are in love with at that age is all right. It will replay in her life some eighty years from now.

What kind of potato? There are the kind with purple flesh... she could be half of a potato with purple flesh... It would be innovative, and seeing as a walking, talking bisected tuber hits a nice horror vibe for Halloween, eh?

Warped Mind of Ron said...

She can go as a potato and you can go as a deep fryer her mortal enemy :) Mmmmm... french fries....

Mighty Dyckerson said...

Art Linkletter sure was right. Kids really do say the goddamndest fucking things.

Who is this Alexander V? Is he any relation to Alexander XVIII?

Anonymous said...

She sounds exactly like you!

Krissyface said...

Chele... She is pretty cool. I have to remember that at 4 am when she is screaming in my face because she thinks I'm taking up too much of MY bed, which she snuck into without asking. Sigh...

J... I'd really rather wait until she's in at least 5th grade before introducing her to the wonders of pharmaceuticals...

Steve... Kids suck.

Scoot and Ron...those are both awesome ideas. I think her grandma already started on the pumpkin costume though...

Dyke... if the amount of time outs this kid gets is any indication, perhaps yes, there is a relation...

Jack... She does, right? She takes after her mama...except I'm rather certain about who I am in love with these days...aw.....

Effortlessly Average said...

Huh. I think I've dated a girl much like conversation #2.