Monday, September 29, 2008

I wish it were Sunday, 'cause that's my fun day...

Happy Monday, folks. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for a better week, despite the solar system's personal vendetta against me.
Though that angry red planet is spinning furiously backwards and is determined to fuck up my world, I have the faith of a child in the tooth fairy that this week's gonna be better. If not, I'm blaming it on all of you.

Unfortunately, Monday is already off to a sorta crappy start...the city, which was so crisp and chilly and hopeful last week, with trees already starting to show hints of beautiful autumn colors, is back to sticky and gummy and warm and stinking like a bum's dirty hiney. Damn.

One of the loveliest things about fall in New York is that the stink of summer fades clean away when the air turns cool. Everything feels fresh, and there's a renewed hope and excitement in the air. So you can imagine my dismay when I climbed up from the bowels of the Union Square subway station only to meet with the stink of 100 dead hookers with vaginal infections, which lasted the better part of six blocks. Guess we have to wait another week for the freshmaker to return. September is a weird month. Hot, cold, fall, summer, make up your fucking mind! Jesus.

Anyway, I am not so easily discouraged. There are a million reasons I love fall in New York. For one thing, it's a great time to be in love. I look forward to holding hands in Central Park, cuddling up in a cafe with a hot spiced cider, watching the tourists flit up and down 5th Avenue looking for Trump Fucking Tower. It's the beginning of a very happy season here in my fair, fair city. People are just nicer to each other when they aren't sweating their balls off and having to endure the smell of three months worth of garbage piling up in the streets.

I'm putting on a happy face. I'd appreciate a little support, for once.

12 comments:

Warped Mind of Ron said...

OMG!!?? What happened to all the hookers? I mean if there was a shortage in their workforce that would imply rising prices in this already unstable economy!! Crap! And now that there is a shortage of hookers that means most likely there will be hoarding (or would that be whording?) of sex workers.

Krissyface said...

I know, Ron, and I have to smell them. Yuck.

Scooter said...

I wish you the best. My girlfriend just let her cousin go at work. I also have no bloody clue on how to talk to her about this.

Yay, me.

Jack said...

Dead hookers are free.

I hope you have a better week.

catscratch said...

I've only ever done the tourist thing in NYC just before turkey day and it was lovely.

Won't be long until Mother Nature quits having hot flashes!

Sproactually said...

This should go in your portfolio, for the next job writing for the 2009 I love NY booklet.

"only to meet with the stink of 100 dead hookers with vaginal infections"

All ready over 1000' the leaves are ablaze here.

The peepers will be here this weekend...

Krissyface said...

Scoot, you mean she fired her cousin? uh oh...how'd that go?

Thanks, Jack. They aren't free. You pay in STDs. Also, post-mortem diseases that I cannot even speak about here.

Cat, I highly recommend it.

Steve, I am jea-to-the-lous!
I will be up there before the end of the month. Can't wait.

Sproactually said...

Yeah yeah... sure you'll be here...

Stop by and say Hi.

It's octoberfest this and next w/e at Hunter

xl said...

Have visited NYC several times. I tend to think of it in terms of the opening of Manhattan with the b&w cityscape and Rhapsody In Blue hammering out on the piano.

jeremy said...

wait just a goddamned minute...

what sort of vaginal infections?

Mr. Poopie said...

Wish, I could help. I'm still bummed that Pluto isn't a planet anymore.

nitewalk6 said...

Gosh, Letterman didn't mention the hooker issue.
Won't be long and they will be frozen stiff wait, that'll be the johns