Life looks really ugly and distorted when viewed through the miserable, vomitous veil of 4 hours sleep. Oh, dear holy god. I'm sorry for having offended thee. Whatever I said about, you know, not believing you and stuff in the past, well, you know I was just kidding. For real, I totally believe in you. And your power. And wretched vengefulness.
Lily caught this terrible bug that's going around. You know, the one where you don't get any symptoms except an alarmingly high fever (causing her hands to heat up like charcoal briquettes and her little feet to get clammy and cold...?). Oh, and the other symptom is the need to mercilessly abuse one's mom all night long like she's an indentured servant who needs to get whipped in the face when she brings you water that's not cool enough. Yeah. It was like that. All night. For two nights straight.
I mean, she didn't actually whip me in the face or anything, but after the third or fourth time she woke up I started to feel like that horse in the scene in "Gone With The Wind" that's been beaten with the crop too many times and its mouth is all foamy and it just drops dead in the red dirt. Because death is a welcome respite from the torture of enduring another second of trying to live.
So it's 12:30 and I HAVE NO ONE TO TALK TO and I'm putting off going to sleep, cause what's the point, really? Lily will just wake up in an hour and thrust her horrible little feet in my face and demand something ridiculous, like that I cut her pajama bottoms into shorts because she's too hot. Normally, as most of you know, Lily is a very pleasant and lovely little girl. But this illness has turned her into satan's mistress in the wee hours of night. She doesn't fully wake up and is mad with fever and totally irrational. Twice last night she demanded that I listen while she told me a bedtime story (at 3 am) about two princesses named Rubella and Chaka that went on forever. I just started to cry involuntarily.
The smart, healthy thing to do would be to go to bed anyway, grab whatever sleep I can before Freddy Krueger comes slashing through my half-dreams demanding crackers and more children's Motrin. Oh, good night then.
4 days ago