Monday, March 10, 2008

Oh, Eliot. You douche.



A Poem for the (very soon to be former) Governor of My Fine State

Oh, Eliot Spitzer, you stupid-ass fuck
why'd you have to go and test your luck?

Texting a hooker? Couldn't be more discreet?
Couldn't find a nice trannie on 125th Street?

We know politicians all like to get laid
But you, sir, are a fucktard; when I heard what you paid...

Forty-three hundred bucks, for a night with some chick?!
Did you think you'd end up with a gold-plaited dick?

When I googled the story, I was creeped-out to know,
That "Kristen" was the name of your favorite ho.

GROSS!

18 comments:

BUMBLE!!! said...

If he's into trannies, I just got a classic forward of Thai transvesties... you couldn't even tell.

You'd think though that as a governor, he would have someone hired to bring him extramarital arrangements. What is coming to this world and what else are your tax dollars being used for?

Chele said...

great poem!! man politicians are really seedy men, can never trust them

Mr. Poopie said...

Oh, Miss Krissy, please don’t be sad,
I see how this fucktard has got you all mad.

It’s obvious to me that he doesn’t like boys,
For he could have easily sprung for a girl with a toy.

Perhaps what he paid was money well spent,
For a girl with a diamond- laced pussy for rent.

It’s true that Forty-three hundred that night,
Could have easily paid for the 4 way delight.

But it seems, as far as trick hustler’s go,
Kristen’s one diamond short from being the baddest ass ho!

So@24 said...

We democrats lost some respect today. Fuck.

Sproactually said...

Umm... did you get to keep the $4300?? Becasue this is NY, make sure you record that as "income"

I'm gonna go hide now so you can't hit me with whatever your about to throw.

Scooter said...

In all fairness, Jim McGreevey put his short-stuffing on the bloody payroll.

How exactly did this get out? If all he did was hump a prostitute, where's the federal investigation? Moreover, why is the federal government investigating prostitution rings?

Seriously... it makes you think this whole "terrorism" thing is a distraction...

Krissyface said...

Bumble, Now you've peaked my curiosity about Thai trannies. Yes. You must forward me this.

Chele, I wish it weren't so. But you can't deny the evidence...

Mr. P...Nice poem! You put me to shame!!! So you saw how they rated them with "diamonds" too? So classic.

SO...I know. We can't seem to get on top. No, um, pun intended.

Steve, I'll let you get away with that one b/c you've been out of comission for a while. Plus, it was funny.

Scoot, I'm wondering the same thing. Why hasn't this fucktard been charged? Duh.

Pronto said...

Well done.

As you know, all classy poetry simply MUST rhyme.....

I guess that makes you a classy poetress :-)

Krissyface said...

pronto, yep I'm big on class.
Small on brains, but big on class.

Pronto said...

dontcha love words that rhyme with ass ??????????

Krissyface said...

I do. I also love the word "ho" and derivatives thereof...ho-bag, ho-face, 'she's really ho-ish'.
As is evident by reading the last two posts. sigh.

Pronto said...

Or,

She's got a ho-ass....

Prunella Jones said...

Wonder what she does to make that much money? She's either getting paid for her perversion or her discretion about his perversion. I bet it's the second one. He looks kinky.

Krissyface said...

it's always the one with the most bravado about being Mr. Clean that has the most major kinks in the attic...he's a total perv for sure.

catscratch diva said...

Hahaha! Very, very truth filled poetry!

Shambhu said...

Well said! You can tell by looking at him that he is the embodiment of evil.

Sproactually said...

Whoa... not really a comment... more of a question, Is you e-mail still the banky sounding one? I know you mentioned that a free lance gig may be up soon.

Krissyface said...

Steve...yep, still there. Fingahs crossed.