11 New Ideas for Reality Shows

I thought with the writers' strike showing no signs of ending any time soon, I'd pitch some ideas for new reality TV shows. I'm here to help, guys.

1. "You're Dying"
Spends time in a hospital where terminal illnesses are being diagnosed. Watch the reactions of people who just found out their lives are about to end.

2. "Orphanage!"
This show would be based maybe in Russia or China, chronicling the interesting lives of orphaned children and how "tough" they have it. Once they're adopted, they are totally off the show tho. Because after that, who cares?

3. "Get out Alive" (editor's note: this idea I had in the mid-1990s, way before "Survivor" was even conceptualized. I wish I'd pitched this back them. Damn, damn, damn).
Basically, you lock 10 strangers in a pitch-black basement and only one of them is allowed to come out alive. Maybe it can be filmed with one of those creepy night-vision things that Buffalo Bill wore in "The Silence of the Lambs" so the audience can watch how this actually goes down.

4. "Liver Swap"
What happens when the cirrhosed liver of a 25-year alcoholic gets transplanted into the body of a virile, 25-year-old vegan?

5. "Be My Bitch"
Where guys in prison battle each other for the privelege of being the "go-to guy" for the toughest, most, um, well-respected inmate on the cell block.

Here are some other's that really require no explanation:

6. "Is She Really a Virgin?"
7. "Pimp My Trailer"
8. "I'm a Better Drunk Driver Than You"
9. "Celebrity Autopsy"
10. "Man Vs. Tiger"
11. "My Life in a Cardboard Box Under Scaffolding on 12th Street"