I need to be hosed off like the bad girl I am. Throw her in the showers and wash it all away! Scrub her raw! Flog her nasty bottom!
I broke down today and went to PerezHilton.com because I was so goddamned bored at work I got tired of visiting the ladies room and plucking my eyebrows and IM'ing with Chris to find out who could come up with the most interesting quotes from random people on the internet:
Chris: "An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do" -Dylan Thomas
Kristin: "You got no money and you got no car, then you got no woman, and there you are" –Young MC
Chris: "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." -Anonymous
Kristin: "I wish it was Sunday. My I-don't-have-to-run-day"
- The Bangles
Chris: "Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke" –Lynda Barry
Kristin: "Your butt is mine" - Michael Jackson
Sigh. I wish Chris was more creative in his research for meaninful quotes. But whatever. I can't expect everyone to be as serious as I am about these kinds of things.
I actually spent like three straight hours visiting people's blogs and leaving comments like a sprightly elf, hopping from blog to blog, sprinkling magical gifts of my feedback throughout the internet!
Why am I being so pompous? It's all a defense mechanism, I assure you. To cover up my pain because I am feeling bad about my moment of weakness. But Britney, she's a powerful a drug.
3 days ago