Thursday, January 17, 2008

O well, at least I look hot today

More man-drama this morning when my apartment became something out of a straight-to-video melodrama starring Ally Sheedy or Patty Duke. What happens when mommy and daddy get divorced and argue about money before they've even had coffee? Well, Mommy closes the door in Daddy's face and Daddy freaks out and almost falls down the stairs because he's so pissed he's banging the door off the hinges. I never thought my life would ever look like this. Ever.

Last night I told Kara that maybe my next relationship would be with a woman. Like, for real. I'll start trolling the "women seeking women" section on Craigs List. Problem is, with the exception of a fleeting crush on my high school best friend Jenny Mac and some hot women in porn, I've never actually been attracted to any ladies. Except Kate Winslet. And she doesn't really count, because she's this super-human celluloid creature who I will never get to have sex with.

My nerves are shot. Somehow god threw me a bone this morning when I was flat-ironing my frizzed-out head of hair and made it look really silky and pretty. I appreciate the boost, god. You're the bomb.

I haven't been dreaming lately. This is disturbing me. I generally look to my dreams as a time to work through my shit. Maybe I've been doing more working shit out in my waking life and I don't need to be doing as much in my subconscious. Let's hope so.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

I sexualized a girl who looked like kate winslet with bigger boobs a couple times. YOUR DREAM CAN COME TRUE.

I could watch domestic disturbances unfold all day long without getting bored.

Blank said...

I think the whole Jerry Springer part of a breakup has to occur, it's either in the rule book, or God had his own reality talk show back in the day and the whole ten commandments thing was a parody of that, we just got it backwards thinking the ten commandments was really the point.

It sucks when everyone's emotions are that close to the surface, its best if you can have those meetings off site and childless on neutral ground at the local starbucks. At least set the ground rules to spar away from work and kids. Even though your both at the point of being in completely different points in your life, you have a common goal. A separation that will be as equal as it can be, allowing both you to continue to live and nurture your daughter and letting both you move forward in your own lives as well. It is really hard to have to deal with someone you haven't been able too, but you 2 have a common goal now.

And worrying about another relationship right now, don;t. You don't have the bandwidth to do that, you have to close on your current one first.

Krissyface said...

Mr. U...By "sexualized" I assume you mean sexed up. Nice job. Also, I'll invite you to the next domestic sparring so you can watch front row and center. I agree it's not boring. But it does suck total ass for me.

Steve S...you are so right. If only we could turn our emotions off for the car ride to Starbucks so we didn't kill each other on the way to the pow wow.

Anonymous said...

Well, things will settle down with time. Hang in there.